Thursday 11 October 2012

Shit Lids: The 30 Worst Haircuts in Football History (Numbers 10-1)

When you turn on the TV these days to watch a Liverpool game, one thing really stands out. Not their incompetent defending, but Fabio Borini’s hair.

So, in homage to the Italian, we’ve put together our list of the worst haircuts in footballing history. A well trodden path of course, but one which will give you much mirth and merriment we hope...

10) Javier Pinola

Pic Courtesy of Kicker.de
Javier is firmly from the school of ‘not letting go’, where previous alumni include Sir Bobby Charlton, Wayne Rooney and Attilio Lombardo (more on that later). These students are taking a degree in ‘going bald but will do absolutely anything to make it appear as if they have loads of hair’ studies.

As you can see, Pinola is an A* student.


9) Andy Carroll






No further explanation required m‘lud.







8) Rodrigo Palacio

Pic Courtesy of the Daily Mail
Whether or not Rodrigo Palacio has a natural affinity with vermin, this ‘rats tail’ really is a spectacular no-no. 

It does, however, earn our Bravery award. Would YOU don this look in your local Wetherspoons on a Friday night?



 7) Taribo West

Pic Courtesy of Nigeria Watch
  
Sometimes in life, there are no words to explain a particular something. Exhibit A – Taribo West’s ‘Green Shoelace’ haircut. 

Whilst the Nigerian earns a few bonus points for patriotism, he instantly loses them again for resembling a member of mid-90s girl band Cleopatra.




6) Rudi Voller
Pic courtesy of Football Rascal

Affectionately known as ‘the Poodle’ during his playing days, Voller teamed his mullet with a bushy moustache to complete that look that the Germans do so well.

Apparently, Voller’s spat with Frank Rijkaard in the 1990 World Cup was sparked by the Dutchman’s accusation that Rudi’s hair was “sun damaged”.




5) Gervinho

What in Christ’s name is that, you’re probably thinking. It is the sheer width, height and depth of his forehead that sets Gervinho apart. 

His hair acts like a beaded curtain – parted to enable us to see into his cosmic vortex. 




4) Chris Waddle

Ah yes, the 1980s. Not a decade known for its sartorial elegance and hirsute artistry....
Pic Courtesy of Football Fancast

And then Chris Waddle happened. Not content with being one half of the UK’s finest pop music act (see here), Waddles also turned out for Newcastle, Spurs, Sheffield Wednesday and Marseille.

Most famously, he ballooned a penalty over the bar in England’s World Cup ’90 Semi Final defeat against Germany, something that he possibly might have blamed on having hair like a Texan trucker. 



3) Bobby Charlton

Sir Bobby Charlton is a World Cup winner and Manchester United legend. What is less than legendary, however, is the ‘haircut’ he sported during those heady days.

Bob is the innovator behind the now world famous ‘comb over’, as I’m sure you’re all aware. What is often forgotten mind is that he sported it whilst only in his early 30’s. So if you are approaching this landmark age, think fast...


2) Carlos Valderrama

Pic Courtesy of Ball 72
This is vintage stuff. Valderrama’s ‘Golden Perm’ has become something of a legend, and finally gave Colombia an export to be proud of, apart from some chap named ‘Charlie’.

With his olive tan and nose-mouse moustache, Carlos had hit on a winning combination – stealing both housewives’ hearts and the respect of geezers across the globe.



1) Roberto Baggio


Whilst his football was world class, Baggio’s haircut was anything but. The Italian was an early adopter of the ‘business at the front, party at the back’ mantra, which would also reflect neatly on his off-the-field activities.

Caution: ponytails only belong on girls and horses.

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