When you turn on the TV these days to watch a Liverpool game,
one thing really stands out. Not their incompetent defending, but Fabio Borini’s
hair.
So, in homage to the Italian, we’ve put together our list of
the worst haircuts in footballing history. A well trodden path of course, but
one which will give you much mirth and merriment we hope...
30) Raul Meireles
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| Pic Courtesy of PA |
A sort of pre-cursor to the Borini horror-show, Mereiles’s
do leaves him resembling some kind of Balkan mercenary.
Shaved at the sides and
all over the place on top, if ever a player’s hair represented their
footballing ability then it was this.
29) Wayne Rooney
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| Pic Courtesy of MEN |
As a walking testament to hair transplants, Rooney’s old lid
isn’t going to get people rushing out to see a consultant any time soon.
As if
to highlight JUST HOW MUCH HAIR HE NOW HAD, the Manchester United man decided
to modernise his image.
In hindsight, he looked more like T-1000 from
Terminator 2.
28) Marouane Fellaini
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| Pic Courtesy of Football Manager Story |
As if being 6ft 4in tall and built like an external brick urinal wasn’t intimidating enough, Fellaini quite literally tops this off with
a bad-ass afro that adds another metre to his height – which is perhaps why he’s
such a danger at set pieces.
Unfortunately for David Moyes and his men, Fellaini refuses
to play when it rains in case he gets an electric shock (it’s a microphone
joke. Oh suit yourself).
27) Javier Margas
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| Pic Courtesy of WAATP |
Not going to lie, I had to Wikipedia the name ‘Javier Margas’
for more details.
What I found was that he loved to dye his hair in the colours
of the club he was playing for, hence in this example West Ham.
He also
apparently owns General Pinochet’s armoured car. True story.
26) Alexi Lalas
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| Pic Courtesy of Soccer Jones |
Lalas shot to fame during the 1994 World Cup, when fans
across the globe would tune in mainly to see his powerful ginger beard, which
looked as though it may be capable of wizardry – useful for a centre-half
lacking in pace or guile.
His hair, meanwhile, was very disappointing. Long, lank,
centre-parted AND housed within a headband!?
As Leicester’s very own trouser
botherer Gok Wan would say, ‘not in this lifetime girlfriend!!!’ Or something
like that.
25) Ronaldo
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| Pic Courtesy of World Cup Blog |
Back in the day, there was a different sheriff called
Ronaldo in town. This one – a world-class Brazilian striker – however, wouldn’t
be chasing Clint Eastwood out of town anytime soon, not with this unique take
on 1970s female pubic hair anyway.
In the photo above, you may notice a resemblance between
Ronaldo and Jim Carrey’s character in Dumb and Dumber. And you’d be right.
24) Abel Xavier
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| Pic Courtesy of Soccer Jones |
Abel Xavier is one of a select bunch of players who have
played for both Everton and Liverpool (sports quiz fans ahoy).
He’ll perhaps be
best remembered on Merseyside for his shocking hair and beard combo, which
defies explanation.
23) Jason Lee
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| Jason Lee |
During the 1990s, Jason Lee was a run-of-the-mill forward
plying his trade with Nottingham Forest. He was soon to become something of a
cult figure though thanks to Fantasy Football, an irreverent TV show hosted by
comedians Frank Skinner and David Baddiel.
They compared Lee’s unorthodox lid to a pineapple - amongst
other things – and this caught on in the form of the seminal crowd chat ‘he’s
got a pineapple, on his head, etc’.
On a bleaker note, Lee blamed his inability to score on the attention
he received from the show, and shaved his head soon after.
22) Peter Beardsley
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| Oh Dear |
Beardsley was bordering on the genius as a player, regularly
appearing for England and still looked on to this day as one of the best
players ever to turn out in the black and white stripes of Newcastle United.
The Geordie maestro didn’t let success go to his hair though,
and was seemingly happy to let his mother sit him down once a month and go over
him with a pair of house scissors.
Combined with his face which looked like it
was carved out of a potato, this was a recipe for disaster.
21) Barry Venison
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| Pic Courtesy of the Daily Mail |
Venison was famed for three things: performing an outrageous
overhead kick clearance off the line once (which sadly isn’t on YouTube); being
one of the most ungifted players to ever win an England cap; and his hair.
Oh,
the hair.
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